My Own Liberation

My Own Liberation

It’s March…the beginning of spring. The flowers are blooming, the trees are growing, and the animals are mating. It is a time for Renewal and transformation…I am stuck.

I am sitting at my computer on the morning of a deadline trying to write an article on the theme of Liberation. I was asked to use a personal experience and anecdote to illustrate the steps people need to liberate their lives... to move on to the next career, next love or next adventure. I have done everything to procrastinate writing this article. I have read a book, worked in my office, met with friends and completely put off what I knew would be best for me to do… write! This minute, I am actually in a place of transformation myself.

This situation is an ongoing process for me.” Renewal” work is what I do; I channel the information and tools that individuals need to become more empowered and therefore receive what they want in their lives. I have been blessed with the opportunities to delve into my self through active learning, life experiences and guidance. I have transformed from a young woman who was filled with tremendous anxiety and who suffered extreme insomnia, to a person who has let go of many of my anxieties and fears and now feels more connected to the Universe and myself.

But that doesn’t mean that because I feel more “enlightened” that my journey is over. I get stuck and I am always on a continuous path of learning. This week I have been stuck in the fear of writing this article. So, I will take you through my own process and maybe you will learn something from my personal transformation.

First of all, I am assuming that you, the reader, can admit to feeling stuck many times in your life. For an example, we all have a hard time feeling complete joy and fulfillment in our relationships. We can get stuck in anger, frustration and fear and many times we are afraid to take the risks that lead us to success with our children, spouses, siblings, parents and friends. All we want to be is free from these blocked places and in a place of love and acceptance. Feeling free from our stuck place and moving forward is what Liberation is all about.

That being said, I will return to my own challenges and explain to you how I am going to transform myself out of this writing block.

Here are the Four Steps I will take today:

First step: I ask myself… why am I blocked?
The first thing that comes to mind is fear of failure. I have always wanted to write for the Jewish Journal…you can say it has been dream of mine. So maybe I am afraid my writing will not be accepted, my ideas will be ridiculed or I feel unworthy to write an article for a prestigious publication. Yes, I am afraid of failure!!! That’s it!!!

Second Step… I look at the opposite of what I believed was my fear. (Sometimes, what we believe the fear to be is the easy road for us to take. Our “blind spot” is the place that is the hardest to see, but is usually the truth about ourselves). Ok, I do think I am afraid of failure on some level, but right now I have to ask myself the question “Is my fear of failure keeping me stuck or is it really my fear of "success”?! I realize that I feel stuck because I never believed that I deserved true success for myself. Then I ask myself again…. Why?

Third Step: I go deeper into my inner core or self. This step is difficult to do without guidance…but I have practiced quite a bit, so here goes….. Through time, I internalized the feeling that if I was truly successful, others may become jealous or envious of me and use their power against me or turn away from me. I have created a pattern of not being as successful as I can be, so I stay protected in my “non-success”, therefore, it is difficult for me to completely flow when I write.

Fourth Step…Go into the fear. I will do the one thing I am afraid to do. In this case, I am writing this article, sending it the Editor of the Jewish Journal for his approval, and taking the risk of sharing my step by step process with others. When I press the send key on my e-mail, my hand will be shaking, but I will move forward and hopefully feel liberated from my old ways.

Whether this article is published or not, my thoughts and actions will hopefully create a “shift” in my inner being. I will have moved one step closer to peace within myself and I will have moved away from being stuck in my inability to write freely. I hope I will become an individual who is able to write more easily and share with others without the anxiety and fear of my success. This new freedom is what I believe Liberation to be.

* Note

This article was NOT published in the Tribe magazine of the Jewish Journal as I had hoped for. This situation presents itself as another learning process for me; to accept that not everything goes the way I believe it should go and I do not know the reasons why, but sometimes I have to let go and trust that I will understand the reasons later. I have to move forward to the next article, next blog and/or the next project. If I touch or inspire one person by sharing my own experiences, than I have reached my goal and that is all I can hope for. So I publish this blog for you to read and I thank you for taking your precious time to read it.