Prayer is a complex, multi-layered activity. The Jewish sages referred to prayer in Hebrew as avodah, service, to describe the service of sacrifice in the ancient Holy Temple in Jerusalem. However, since the destruction of the Second Temple in 70 A.D., prayer became the Jewish people’s primary means of “connecting” with God.
Avodah also means work, or giving something of ourselves to God...however you define God for yourself. But what benefit could God derive from our prayers? How do our prayers serve the Divine? The Hebrew word l'hitpallel means to pray. The root word, pallel, actually means to judge, clarifies, differentiate or decide. In one tense of the word, the subject acts upon him/herself. Therefore, prayer is about self-definition and establishing some level of inner clarity. During prayer, one may be able to clarify his/her relationship with God and with the world, thus opening a clearer channel of communication with the Divine.
Opening up the "Channels" is the purpose of transformation or change within oneself. The more you change or transform and become true to yourself, the more connected to the divine and the world you become. Your relationships with your family, friends and people in your life become stronger, more fulfilling and you are able to give and receive more love.
Whether you choose to be in a synagogue with your community this Yom Kippur and/or choose to give yourself a quiet moment in a tranquil place of your own, or engage in both practices, talk to God. If you can, ask for forgiveness, forgive others and open up your heart. Allow the messages through prayer to touch your soul.
I have found many ways to pray throughout the last year that have been introspective, joyful and insightful for me. I have experienced prayer through chanting, free movement, breath work and various types of meditations. I have also found that prayer with others creates more positive energy, and, quite possibly, it helps “shift” the universe in some way. I would like to believe that it does.
In the most challenging times in my life, when I honestly felt that I couldn't’ overcome my fears and shadows, I spoke to God in my own way and said “Heneni”, which in Hebrew means “here I am”. Allowing myself to engage in this communication has transformed me in ways I cannot completely explain, only to say that it has "opened up my channels" even more.
I urge you, in the upcoming year, to experience different avenues of thought and prayer. You may feel comfortable with certain experiences of self reflection and prayer, and some, you may not. You have your own path to explore...and you have the choice to explore it. I wish you the courage to face your challenges, and the radiance of light that it may bring you.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Are our children OURS?
You are probably saying, “What a crazy question? Of course they are”! But, I am going to argue the contrary, please hear me out.
My oldest son, Daniel, just left for college. He went to the East Coast, to New York University (NYU) in the middle of Manhattan. I still can’t believe it, but it is reality! I have shed my tears, I will miss him tremendously. He is a great person, a creative and talented individual and I truly enjoy being with him. I was talking to another Mom on the phone before we left for New York to help him move into the dorms. She was also saying goodbye to her two children at the same time (a boy and girl set of twins) and I said to her “we are so lucky to have had the privilege of raising them, but we have to set them free….they are not ours.” Where did that come from? Were they my words? I thought about it for a moment and I knew the words were correct.
Most of the past 18 years, I believed that my kids were privileged to have a Mom like me…loving, devoted, far from perfect, but always trying to do my best and do what was right for them. Yes, they have been privileged to have me as their mom, but I have been equally, if not more, privileged to have had them. There is a reason that we are together in this lifetime, a reason our children are in our lives and us in theirs.
Could it be possible that the souls of each one of us have a purpose for being together: the purpose not only to learn, but grow, transform and become better people in the world in which we live? Most likely we share some of the same life lessons with our children and we need each other to become aware of these lessons and learn from each other.
Genetically, our children seem to be ours. We cannot argue with the color of their hair and the shape of their eyes, the way they walk or talk, the little mole on the right side of their chin that their grandfather has in the same place or the habit of sleeping in a strange position that only their great uncle seems to do. Of course, those characteristics or behaviors can be passed down to us through our DNA from the generations past. But does the genetic connection completely make our children ours to own or possess?
What about the differences that we see that we cannot explain...their passion for a certain type of music, or their ability to dance or see artwork in their own way, to even paint a unique picture that only their minds and hands could create? What about the ways they converse with their friends, special passions and interests they enjoy or strong opinions that don’t resemble anyone in the family? What about an intense fear or an emotion that they display that is hard for us to understand because we have never felt that way before?
Are our children ours? Or are they God’s gift to us? We say it, but do we really believe it? If we do believe that they are a gift, then we need to support them and love them, but let them fall down, fail and learn their lessons when they are ready to do so. We need to take responsibility for our roles, our behaviors and what we teach them, but we cannot take responsibility for everything about them and definitely not completely who they are inside. Their spirit is theirs. We can do our best to learn from them as we continually grow as individuals ourselves, and teach them what we know from our own life experiences, but we need to realize that they have their own souls and are on their own journey. We, as parents, are given the privilege of having them in our lives, raising them and showing them the way.
Allow them to be themselves; it could be through a small action today or a trip to college tomorrow.
My oldest son, Daniel, just left for college. He went to the East Coast, to New York University (NYU) in the middle of Manhattan. I still can’t believe it, but it is reality! I have shed my tears, I will miss him tremendously. He is a great person, a creative and talented individual and I truly enjoy being with him. I was talking to another Mom on the phone before we left for New York to help him move into the dorms. She was also saying goodbye to her two children at the same time (a boy and girl set of twins) and I said to her “we are so lucky to have had the privilege of raising them, but we have to set them free….they are not ours.” Where did that come from? Were they my words? I thought about it for a moment and I knew the words were correct.
Most of the past 18 years, I believed that my kids were privileged to have a Mom like me…loving, devoted, far from perfect, but always trying to do my best and do what was right for them. Yes, they have been privileged to have me as their mom, but I have been equally, if not more, privileged to have had them. There is a reason that we are together in this lifetime, a reason our children are in our lives and us in theirs.
Could it be possible that the souls of each one of us have a purpose for being together: the purpose not only to learn, but grow, transform and become better people in the world in which we live? Most likely we share some of the same life lessons with our children and we need each other to become aware of these lessons and learn from each other.
Genetically, our children seem to be ours. We cannot argue with the color of their hair and the shape of their eyes, the way they walk or talk, the little mole on the right side of their chin that their grandfather has in the same place or the habit of sleeping in a strange position that only their great uncle seems to do. Of course, those characteristics or behaviors can be passed down to us through our DNA from the generations past. But does the genetic connection completely make our children ours to own or possess?
What about the differences that we see that we cannot explain...their passion for a certain type of music, or their ability to dance or see artwork in their own way, to even paint a unique picture that only their minds and hands could create? What about the ways they converse with their friends, special passions and interests they enjoy or strong opinions that don’t resemble anyone in the family? What about an intense fear or an emotion that they display that is hard for us to understand because we have never felt that way before?
Are our children ours? Or are they God’s gift to us? We say it, but do we really believe it? If we do believe that they are a gift, then we need to support them and love them, but let them fall down, fail and learn their lessons when they are ready to do so. We need to take responsibility for our roles, our behaviors and what we teach them, but we cannot take responsibility for everything about them and definitely not completely who they are inside. Their spirit is theirs. We can do our best to learn from them as we continually grow as individuals ourselves, and teach them what we know from our own life experiences, but we need to realize that they have their own souls and are on their own journey. We, as parents, are given the privilege of having them in our lives, raising them and showing them the way.
Allow them to be themselves; it could be through a small action today or a trip to college tomorrow.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Does the Universe Talk to you? Listen!
Last week was the first day of school for my teenage twin boys. They are 15 ½, just got their driving permits and started their sophomore year in High School. I have tried to make them responsible for chores around the house, cleaning their rooms, and completing their homework, but, I admit, I have not been so good at the “making their own lunches” activity. Maybe I held onto that one to still feel loved as a mother…or maybe I was afraid that they would not eat well and get sick (a situation that probably would not have occurred, and if it did, they would have survived and learned from it) or, maybe all of their procrastination in the morning led me to try to keep them from not being late to school (another consequence that they should own themselves). Whatever my fears and acts of protection have been, I knew that today was the day for me to STOP making those lunches!
My “not wanting the first day of school to exist” sons, slowly strolled down to the kitchen with only 10 minutes left to eat breakfast and get out the door. I said to them, “okay, one more day, I will do it…it’s the first day of school”! I made a turkey sandwich for one of them and I reached into the drawer for the tin foil and I sliced my finger on the sharp edge of a box of plastic wrap in the same drawer. Then, I went into the pantry to get the peanut butter. I grabbed the Nutella, and the top came off and rolled down my pants in a trail on the way to the floor. Chocolate all over my new jeans, and no time to change!
The question came to my mind … Was this situation just a coincidence? Did it just happen? OR was the universe talking to me and saying “don’t make those sandwiches for them!?” I could have cursed under my breath and gone about my business getting them to school, but, I realized that it was time to change, let go, move forward and shift out of my old patterns.
Have you ever looked at your day or week and really concentrated on what was happening to you? Items are lost, broken or taken from you, the internet keeps going down, you can’t connect by phone, you are easily angered by other people; you repeatedly get hurt emotionally or physically. How are others treating you…your family, your friends, your co-workers? The messages from the universe are hidden in the words and actions of the people in your life, the new souls that you encounter, and the experiences you have. Ask yourself…what do I need to see in myself in order for the people around me to act differently towards me? Usually we blame the people in our lives. I know…I do it all the time, but, when I look and listen to the messages that come up for me in my life, they are not hidden anymore; in fact, I can see that they are present for a reason; to learn and grow from them. I do not like to see these conclusions about myself; yet, I smile when I discover them. I can’t believe they were actually shown to me.
Yes, it is painful to see my own faults, but, when I am able to open my eyes and become aware of the messages I am receiving, I can then do the work to change. The magical part of it all is when I shift, the people in my life shift towards me as well. That’s the power of positive energy at work. Hidden messages are blessings in disguise! Listen to them and, if you choose, take them from the hidden(the dark) to the known (the light).
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