The Importance of Guides

I've played tennis since I was in Jr. High (that's what they called it back then!)...not competitively, but just for fun. I learned to play with my friends and family at summer camp and from my husband, Kenny, who was on the tennis team in High School. I was given many tips, pointers and a few lessons along the way. A few years ago, I started playing tennis more often. I wanted to play more competitively in leagues and on a team, so I needed to really improve my game. I wanted to be a better player and I knew I was not at my true potential. I felt "stuck" in my old tennis patterns. I decided to take lessons and get more serious. I hired a tennis instructor, and every week, I worked on changing my game. At first, I did not know what needed to be changed. I couldn’t see what I was doing wrong. I thought my strokes were working for me, but the tennis pro saw something different. He explained to me how my old patterns worked, but not effectively, and showed me how I could improve. At first, I was frustrated and sometimes angry at myself for not being able to “get it”. During my lessons, my body and mind were not together and, I would return to my old patterns; the old ways felt more comfortable. It seemed impossible to change my strokes, but I persisted and worked through the process, completing the new strokes enough times to change my form. More practice, more lessons would make my change complete and with each new stroke, I became a better player.
I am giving this example of tennis, strictly as a metaphor for personal transformation. We all have the capability of transforming our inner selves in the same way as we can transform ourselves physically. “Patterns of the soul” are what I call our protections or blocks. Every one of us has the ability, if we choose to, improve ourselves by changing them.

~What are our patterns?

Patterns are created from our life situations or experiences. Each one of us has created patterns to use to connect to others in our everyday relationships. The patterns that we develop helps us “play the game of life” and gives us our unique way of responding to family, friends, business associates and the world at large. But, throughout our lives, as we grow emotionally, physically and mentally, the patterns that we have created may not work effectively for us anymore. In fact, they actually prevent us from moving forward and feeling joy, love and peace within ourselves.

Here is an example of myself: As a child, I received a huge amount of praise from my parents. You would think this is a good way to parent….it is loving and kind. But, I interpreted this message as I had to be “the best” in order to be loved. The pattern I created was trying to be “the best” at everything I did. This pattern actually protected me from the fear of failure. I equated failure to not being loved. But, as I became more aware of this pattern, and worked on my inner strength and power with a guide, I realized that trying to be “the best” was not helping me at all…it was actually blocking me from connecting to those around me and to myself in a true way.

~Where do patterns come from?

They come from the messages we receive. We cannot blame our parents because they received similar messages or had different experiences or situations that they interpreted. They created their own patterns to protect themselves. My mother was a holocaust survivor and my father came from a poor immigrant family. They had extremely difficult childhoods and they always wanted the best for me. We pass down our genetic makeup….we also pass down our messages… wouldn’t it be wonderful to change some of the patterns that are created and start anew? Think of a re-birth of the person that you really are.

~How do we change the patterns?

Do you feel stuck at times, but don’t know why? Is it difficult to recognize our own patterns? Yes, we are blind to them. Just like the tennis instructor taught me a new way of hitting the ball …an effective guide can help anyone see and understand the patterns that have been created in their lives. Make sure, if you find a guide for a body, mind or spirit experience, that they are guiding you with love and with your best interest at heart. Positive and uplifting relationships are vital to the process.

Do you believe that people cannot change their ways? Can patterns or ingrained behaviors be changed? I believe…. YES… they can. I have seen it and experienced it myself. I have gone through, and continue to be on, a journey of transformation where I have become more joyful in my everyday life. In my experience, changing the patterns of the soul is “encountering the light” It can be a conscious decision, or, at times, brought on by unusual circumstances*. Use a guide, explore yourself and maybe, in the near future, you will be able to play your best game yet!


* Have you witnessed people change their ways when they are exposed to dramatic and life altering experiences, for example, a death in the family, an illness, a job loss, a divorce? Maybe these forces happen so that people have the opportunity to change…but wouldn’t it be amazing to push yourself to transform on your own?

Look for my next blog… "Are You Afraid of the Light?"